Challenges of Being a Single Dog (or pet) Parent

Ah the woes of being a single dog  pet parent.  There are a few things that only pet parents would understand.  

1. Sorry Dear, This weekend is my weekend to cook for the dogs!... Really!
   The pets eat better than the humans!  The time and effort put into buying ingredients and supplements, cooking, chopping, mixing and placing into two-day portions to freeze, can take up a good portion of one day on the weekend!  And then there is the doggie cookies that also need to be made....
   
   
   
   
2. Full Heart and Empty Wallet
   Dear Fido tends to to be amazing to fill our hearts and life with joy but with the toys, chews, food, warm coats,
   
   cooling jackets, doggie socks and boots, grooming, chiropractor visits, dental appointments, collars, leashes, harnesses, dietary supplements, dog walkers, treats, etc... well Disposable Income isn't part of our vocabulary
   
   
3. Party/drinks after work?  Sorry!
   There is no getting together for drinks right after work when you have canine
   companions that need to be let outside.
   
   
4. All Inclusive Vacation for $800/week?
   Not happening because we need to tack on an extra $75/day PER dog boarding cost, a 10 day vacation that's an extra $750 per dog!
   
5. Great seat sale to fly to destination?
   Nope!  That extra $350 for Fido just nullifies that option!  Book extra time and drive.
   
   
   
6. Car Detailing Coupon!
   What's the use, two dogs and 20 minute car ride we will be right back where we started; hair everywhere, nose print art on the windows, paw prints on the seats and console, etc. etc.
   
   
   
7. Dating Profile:  Must Love Dogs... We ain't Kidding!
   Not really into dogs.. that's okay, I really wasn't into you either!
   
   
   
8. Meet-up.com social groups you belong to?
   Most social groups we are interested in are those that we can have Fido participate in such as RuffTrail Runners, Pugs and Mugs, Wiggle Waggle, etc.
   
   
   
9. All you need is Love, Love, Love, All you need is love!
   Cuddles and kisses, snuggles and puppy hugs, we all love them but there are times that the attention requests can get a little overwhelming for one!
   
10. When should I vacuum?
    As a pet parent we dislike vacuuming but not for the usual reasons.  The monster vacuum scares Fido and Fluffy so we procrastinate on passing the scary monster... or at least that is our story and we are sticking to it!
    
    
    
11. Lets go shopping!
    There has got to be a better way!  Hauling 18 kg kitty litter boxes or 15 kg hunks of meat ... well there has got to be a better way!
    
    
    
12. Is it Bed Time!
    First off DO NOT ANNOUNCE IT!  Human must be first to get into the bed in order to get a spot!  Did you know that cat's and dogs were master mathematicians in their previous life?  It is the only explanation that such a small creature could calculate the precise place on the bed to take up the maximum amount of space so that the human must contort themselves in the least comfortable position to accommodate, and trust me, we accommodate! 
    
    
    
13. Guilty Pleasures
    One of the guilty pleasures that we rarely admit to is giving up movie night with friends to curl up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn, warm fuzzy blanket and Fido/Fluffy.  Save $20, use the pause button when needed and nobody kicking the back of your seat!
    
    
    
14. Time?
    Ah yes, time.  When you are a single pet parent, you always get up an extra 40 minutes to an hour early.  By the time you wash the food and water bowls, feed everyone, give them their treat, bundle Fido and Fifi in their coats, socks, boots and harness and take them outside then poop-scoop the litter pan, about a good 40 minutes or more has been consumed when nobody else is around to assist.
    
    
    
15. Wiggle, Waggle Walks!
    During nice weather the walks seem to go on forever and it isn't always the human leading the way.  Many scents to explore, paths to visit and pee-mail that needs reviewing and responding to!
    
    
    
16. Pet me!  Pet me!
    When you own more than two, you never have enough hands to pet them all!
    
    
    
    
    
17. Bathroom Break?
    Well bathroom breaks are always an interesting challenge.  Fido and Fifi must keep the pack together and Fluffy just wants to snuggle too.
    
    
    
18. Dinner time!
    As a single pet parent, there isn't anyone around to watch your dinner when you refill your glass of water!
    
    
    
19. Pedicure time!
    "Mission Impossible" tune plays every time a single dog parent starts the task of a canine pedicure/manicure!
    
20. Sleeping in?
    As a single pet parent, there is no sleeping.  With Fido sticking his tongue up your nose and Fluffy dancing on your bladder, there is no ignoring and no peace until the royal family is taken care of!